Everything is frozen

 

The stay at home order has been set in place. My work shut down. Both myself and my two adult children along with countless others are once again unemployed. I don't even feel sorry for myself but my heart bleeds for the thousands who wont even be able to buy Christmas for their children. Who wont be able to make rent. Or pay bills. All those who needed those next 2 paychecks right before Christmas and now will have none . And no money in sight to help. Its a travesty of the highest nature. Its depressing. California has bore the brunt of the bullshit. Our governor must go. 

   Into the unknown we go. Again . Not knowing how any of this ends 10 months of waiting hoping it will leave. So much has changed . So much will never ever go back to how it was before. I feel so blah. Like everything is frozen. Cant go forward.  I am irritated . On so many levels. I stay annoyed with the games our elected officials play , they are the cat we are the mice. 

   And yet somehow life continues just not as it once was. My kids are reaching the point of just being used to staying inside being vegetables. Other than going to a store to buy something there hasn't been much anyone can do. I really should of got that haircut while I had the chance. That is probably the one thing I have taken away from all this . Not to take things for granted. We think our lives are so comfortable and safe but in a moment everything usurped. Taken over by Covid. ugh

  Anyhow . I went to the grocery store last night pretty late. I was going to go in the morning but I find it much more quite at night and easier to get in and out. I ran into someone I know but had not seen for a bit. We stood there in the aisle talking. I listened as I heard he had lost not one but two jobs and was struggling badly. He joked that this might be his last shopping trip to vons as it had begun to be too expensive and he will be moving over to Aldi's. Aldi's is great . Many times when I was younger Aldis saw my meager food budget through hard times. I still love shopping there . But I shop so many stores for the best deals . I went to von's for a few meat specials they were having. 

  I am looking forward to the days when all this is behind us. My son said to me tonight after dinner Mom do you remember the time before the masks. When we could go to Disney and be free. It made me sad. 

   I cant plan any trips or do much of anything right now. I hope and pray that Mr M will be able to land a teaching job right away.  I worry how that will go as the return to school is so uncertain as well. 

We had a good visit with my brother in law and it was very nice to see his kids. I had my heart tugged several times but that is not my story to tell so I wont. 

  I will say that So many who have so much should really open their hearts and wallets right now. If you can help someone you should. Its the right thing to do. Many never wonder where the next meal will come from and some are at this moment hoping they have enough to last. We have to be good humans and truly help where we can . 

I wish I could help everyone.

“Sweetheart, you can't buy the necessities of life with cookies.”Edward Scissorhands