Rebellions are built on hope.

 

So during my shift last night someone I work with said "Hey are you ok"? Of course it was in regards to my sudden shift off social media. "Yes I am fine" I replied. "So what are you like doing ?" I thought about it for a half sec and said "rebelling a little bit"  He laughed and we parted ways. 

    But I am not exactly lying about that. I am rebelling even against myself. We think we have to do so many things or keep up appearances but we are not beholden to any of that. Ironically in a book I am reading right now its all about a mom who just disappears one day. She takes off from society . And people get pissed about it. They really think you owe them your presence. Now I donot want to come off sounding snarky so please don't misunderstand what I am saying. I want to come off sounding sincere. I just totally and literally needed to rebel a bit from the norm. From the election. From Covid. From life. By the way can you believe I am reading again.  I used to read so much and then as the days got busier I just stopped . Now Im back at it with a vengeance and loving it. I am drinking fruit flavored hot green tea and reading books before bed. Resetting my routine. WOW! Its actually helping me a lot. 

     The kids in this house who don't want to usually go to church are actually going right now :) because they are working on a music project that is holding their interest . Watching them play and seeing a good work started is just so refreshing. So fun. So hopeful. 

Bringing us full circle to the title . Rebellions are built on hope. Thanks Star Wars you teach me all the important stuff.:)  But no really . If your going to rebel at all let it be for hope. Hope of better times and better days ahead. After all it really is a cruel world. We are dying since the day we got here and somehow we have to make the best of this little slice of time. You get older and all you can think about is how precious time is. Its the one thing we cant replace once spent. I want to use that time well. One thing covid has taught me is that boy oh boy was I in a horrible rut. You run around enough times in that hamster wheel and you stop understanding your moving but not going anywhere. I don't want to do that anymore. 

         Sitting next to Mr M last night in our room and we were watching some show together and I had an overwhelming urge to just reach out and be touching him. Holding onto him. Giving him an extra nice hug. Suddenly aware I am touching him and deeply looking at him he looks at me laughs and says what are you doing . I said I just wanted to be touching you .  Your the best and I love you so much. He was visibly moved as if it were very unexpected. And yet he should know right? We gotta have more moments like this with people in our life. We need to let people know we love them. While they are here.  

That is real.  

That is valuable. 

That is hopeful.